


Emotions Are A Funny Thing

by chair_worm



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Multi, Short & Sweet, idk man i haven't written fanfic in forever and this just kinda came to me at 2am one time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26207677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chair_worm/pseuds/chair_worm
Summary: mcr meets up in august of 2019 to discuss reunion things and to reminisce, frank and gerard confront their feelings for each other yet again, though this time differently
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Jamia Nestor, Lindsey Ballato/Gerard Way
Comments: 11
Kudos: 19





	Emotions Are A Funny Thing

**Author's Note:**

> "Emotions are a funny thing. They screwed with your head, in a sometimes good, sometimes bad way."

The sad, almost despairing truth was that the band was never supposed to last as long as it did, or become as famous as it did. They had all talked of ending it after the long and arduous Black Parade tour, which had drained them physically, emotionally, and mentally, much like creating the album itself had done. The result, however, was worth it. It was everything they had hoped for. Revenge had been their hopeful album-- hope this doesn’t flop, hope those months of touring weren't for nothing, hope that we don’t crash and burn something which could turn out great. Bullets was born from shaky desperation and sadness, two themes which popped up again as they made Danger Days together, although that time it felt much MUCH different. It was a desperation which shouldn't have returned, but did. 

And it destroyed them.

The problem with being a band that saved people’s lives, as it turned out, was that sometimes the line between where other’s lives were saved and your own was ruined was very thin. They made fiction and fantasy a reality, and in doing so often crashed and burned their own realities. 

The ending was filled with tumult and a quick succession of downward spirals for most, if not all, of them. Although they were all sad to break up, they all knew it was necessary, and that they would all get on with their lives. 

Which was why Frank was so surprised to get a call from Gerard about reuniting MCR.  
*****************************************************************************

In September of 2017, Frank got a call.

It was from Gerard.

He was expecting the usual “hey how’s it going, how are your kids, what new music have you been making, etc.” the sort of things which they would talk to each other about as a sort of check-in, as they did consider themselves best friends. 

However, this time Gerard wasn’t calling to just have a friendly conversation.

He was quickly and bluntly to the point. 

“Hey it’s me. I think we should get the band back together. I’ve talked with Mikey a bit and we both agree that the state of the world has gotten to be too much; things are just as shitty, if not shitter, than when we started. We all seem to be doing pretty well in terms of mentally and financially and whatever. Are you in?”

“As in…as in reunite My Chemical Romance? The very thing we’d pretty much swore never to do, at least not for many years?”

“Yes.” He sounded nervous, but also very sure of himself.

“I’m sure we’ll have to talk things out, but fuck yeah, I’m in.”

“That’s what I thought you’d say.” Gerard hung up with a sudden *click*. He was never one for proper goodbyes. 

“Oh my god,” Frank thought to himself, “this is really fucking happening. The band? My band? The band that I was formerly a part of? We’re getting back together?”   
It was, thankfully, very true. They were reunited. In secret, of course. 

Following that fateful phone call, months were spent rehearsing, planning, and scheduling. As they were still under the strict discretion of the Warner Corp, they didn't have quite as much freedom as they’d hoped, but they still planned what would hopefully be a long and successful tour. This time, they were not only there for the kids and people they were meant to inspire, but also for themselves. 

They were back, and better than ever.

Although it was hard for Frank to stop himself from telling people about the reunion (“Dude, stop hinting our reunion in interviews”, said Mikey in a laughing tone) he managed to keep it up. The fact that they were going to make the announcement on his birthday was enough to keep him from talking too much about it. 

The next two years passed in a whirlwind of practicing and booking venues. It felt good to be back and rehearsing with his favorite band in the whole fucking world.   
In late August of 2019, they were all relaxing in their homes before they prepared on how to break the announcement when Gerard invited them all to a party at his house in California. 

It was quaint, certainly large enough to accompany himself and his family and a bit more, but much smaller than one would expect from someone so renowned and famous. It was painted in warm colors and surrounded by greenery, very much matching Gee’s recent forest-witch vibes.

The party passed pretty much uneventfully, as they all reminisced while their kids ran around playing in the garden. 

Later that night, Gerard and Frank found themselves in the garden alone, as Lynz and Bandit had gone inside to watch a movie together and Jaima had taken her and Frank's kids back to the hotel, sensing that they were getting tired and Frank might want to talk to Gerard alone. 

They were supposedly cleaning up, but in reality they were sitting on the garden wall, staring at the stars and sitting in a slightly awkward but amicable silence.   
Finally Frank spoke up. “You guys have a fucking awesome garden here.”

Gerard glanced at him. “Thank you.”

They really did. Frank had never taken Gerard as a gardening type, but once he, Bandit, and Lynz moved to this house, they had grown a huge garden, filled with meandering bushes, giant roses, and an impressive strawberry patch, all immaculately taken care of. Gerard almost seemed a part of the garden too in his mossy-colored shirt, tan pants, his shoulder-length hair a natural brown. 

“Thank you for coming all the way from New Jersey, Frank. I know it’s a long flight from NJ to California especially on such short notice but I thought we all deserved a time to just get together, not related to the band.” 

“Hey it’s no problem. Though, I still don't completely understand why all of you guys live in California now anyway.” Frank grinned, clearly still filled with Jersey pride, something which the other members seemed to have let go of in favor of a nicer climate. 

Gerard laughed at that, his eyes lighting up and a smile stretching across his face. 

They quickly returned to the friendly but awkward silence. 

Frank coughed suddenly, feeling like he should say something. Gerard and he texted frequently, and had hung out many times since the breakup, and of course had been practicing together for almost two years. But those interactions had often felt impersonal, mainly because there were usually other people present, and calling or texting Gerard simply felt different from sitting alone at night next to him. 

This reminded Frank of the times when they would sit on top of the band bus or a hill together, watching the sunset and stars, talking about whatever came to their minds.

Sometimes, those times would end in them making out, which was often accompanied by giggling, like they were a couple of kids trying to hide their relationship from prying parents.

Frank shook his head out of the clouds. Their relationship over the years had been...complicated, to say the least. There became a time when it changed from “affectionate friends” to “acting on stage” to being unable to tell what was real and what wasn’t, it coming offstage, messing with nearly all aspects of their lives.

It was confusing and messy, fueled by both their emotions running high and at times just seemed a reflection of their own fuckups. 

Gerard seemed to sense that Frank had something on his mind. “You okay?” he asked tentatively. 

Frank paused for a second, choosing his words carefully. Finally, he said;  
“Do you think that this whole reunion thing will go well? I mean, it’s been so long, and well, we’re a lot older and different-looking now, what if we’re just made into a mockery? Another story of a band trying to return to their former glory…”

Gerard studied Frank thoughtfully. “I don't know what will happen. I mean, I try to stay away from social media as much as possible, but it seems like all of the kids who never got to see us back in the day will come, and maybe some who are newer fans as well. I doubt we’ll be made into a mockery, but if we are that’s not a new experience for us, is it?”

Frank smiled, recalling how they used to read articles written about them in rock magazines, who would often throw insults at them, criticizing their music, costumes, looks, and performances. The best ones were the ones which seemed insulting, but had hints of gayness in them, which usually meant something like waxing poetic about how pretty the members were while also saying that their music was shit. Frank remember one such article which called Gerard a “pop punk prettyboy”. 

“You know what,” Frank said, “you're right. We’ve been insulted before, but that never stopped us. I don't care if only two people show up, we would still be playing together.”

“I’ve missed it,” Gerard said quietly. “I was shocked how much I enjoyed practicing again. It makes me wonder again what would’ve happened if we didn’t break up, but then again we were all headed towards self-destruction. 

“Yet, I think Danger Days DID need to happen, and I’m so glad it did, but I wonder if we all would have been better off if we split after Black Parade.”

Gerard nodded, then shook his head. “I’m still sorry about how you found out about the breakup. That was ridiculously shitty of us--well, of me--to do.”

“Hey, it’s ok. You’ve apologized many times before. It hurt at the time, but that was years ago. I’ve moved on. We all have.”

With that, Gerard relaxed and they both fell silent again. They had already discussed the breakup and ending things and Gerard’s downward spiral during Danger Days countless times, it felt like there was nothing more that needed to be said.

Except, maybe there was. 

“Gerard--” said Frank jarringly, as if he was surprised he was talking. “I still love you. I always have, always will. My true love is Jaima and my kids, but my love for you will always remain as something more than just friends.”

Gerard looked startled. He stared at the sky, then the ground, and finally at Frank.

“I...I feel the same way,” he said, tripping over the words. “I love Lynz and Bandit with my whole heart and would not leave them for the world, but my love for you will always be in my mind.”

“Guess that’s the reason why we separately wrote all of those songs about one another,” Frank said, and suddenly grabbed Gerard’s hands and kissed his cheek. 

Gerard blushed and turned away, but quickly whipped his head back around and kissed Frank on the lips, a rough, messy embrace. 

Frank just stared at Gerard in shock. His lips felt as if he had eaten popping candy, they felt almost tingly but in the best way possible. 

It had been years since the two of them had kissed, and Frank had forgotten how good it felt. But now, the element of shame hung in the air.

Gerard looked just as surprised. “I shouldn’t have done that, I didn’t mean to do that, oh shit Frank I didn’t mean it I don’t know what came over me…” he turned away, making sure not to look at Frank.

Frank too looked away, the tension between them building.

“I should go...I started this…” although Frank had tried to pass off the cheek kiss as more of a friendship kiss or one to show that all was forgiven, it was clear that he didn’t really mean it that way. To be completely honest, he didn’t really know in what way he had meant it. 

Gerard stood up, awkwardly and abruptly letting go of Frank’s hands. He brushed some non-existent dust off of his pants and stood up, facing the house.

“Well…?” he said haltingly.

“Well…?” said Frank in the same tone.

They both suddenly broke into giggles. It felt like it had years ago, when they were just trying to make sense of the feelings they had towards each other amidst growing popularity and Gerard’s shaky state of sobriety. 

They had been young and naive, two souls gravitated towards each other by chance. And yet here they were, over a decade later, giggling over an awkward kiss like a couple of teenagers.

Gerard embraced Frank in a tight hug, tighter than they had hugged in years. Frank felt Gerard’s love and warmth radiating through the many layers he always wore and hoped that he was giving back the same energy of love.

“I still can’t believe that we’re actually doing this whole touring thing again” Frank said, laughing.

Gerard held him out by the shoulders and looked him square in the eyes. “Me neither, but I’m pretty excited and nervous. If it goes well, great. If not, not so great!”  
“If not, we could all just wear skeleton makeup 24/7 and move to Antarctica or something.”

“Or, just, you know, come home and pretend it never happened.”

They both dissolved into laughter again. Frank suddenly took Gerard’s face and kissed him, softly and slowly on the lips. Gerard kissed him back. 

“You’re my best fucking friend and I love you,” said Frank. 

“You are MY best fucking friend and I fucking love you too.” 

They once again embraced in a tight hug, filled with understanding, love, and respect. 

Maybe their relationship would never be not-complicated, Frank realized. But “complicated” didn’t have to mean “terrible”. Emotions are a funny thing. They screwed with your head, in a sometimes good, sometimes bad way. They would always always get in the way of him and Gerard’s relationship. And maybe, just maybe, that was a sometimes-good thing.  
************************************  
After Gerard and Frank finished hugging and laughing, they really did clean up the yard. Around 11pm, Frank realized that he probably should leave and called an Uber to pick him up. 

“This was nice,” he said, walking to the front of the house, passing through an immaculately trimmed rose bush climbing up a trellis.  
Gerard hugged him one last time. “Yes,” he said, almost sounding like he was crying, something which Frank related to a lot in that moment, “it truly was.”  
He walked away as Gerard slipped back into the garden to go to the house.

Frank thought of all of the fanfictions he had seen over the years of him and Gerard. Some sweet, some straight-up gross, others a combination. None of them ever truly got anywhere near the reality of the situation; that there are some people who you never truly stop loving and having feelings for, but those are not necessarily the people who you should be together with. He knew that he would never stop loving Gerard, the ultimate reminder of something that could have been, but is probably better off not having been. He was a true what-if, what-could-have-been. 

Their feelings for each other had always been and always will be complicated, as much as Frank hated how teen-movie that sounded, it was true.   
“Fuck you,” he said aloud. And yet, as he walked down the pathway to his Uber idling by the sidewalk, he couldn’t help but smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment and let me know if you liked it!! this will probably just be a one-shot but i might write more! :))


End file.
